This is What I Think



I think that if Cher were to have a massive coronary while sitting front row and center at a fashion show (like she is here), and die, first off, no one would notice as she clearly can no longer move her face of her own accord. And then, assuming no one notices and everyone leaves the fashion show, Cher would be left on her own, to decompose.

But here's the thing. Cher will not decompose. Oh no. This woman has pumped God-knows how many pharmaceuticals into her veins, in the quest to look perpetually young. And let's not get started on the face lifts, brow lifts, this lift, that lift, an implant here, an implant there, here a nip, there a nip, everywhere a nip, nip.

Seriously. I want to be proven correct. I say, when Cher dies, we prop her up and let her rot on live TV. Then, and only then, will the world see what I already know. Nothing will move. Maybe her eyeballs will sink in, but her lips can't even shrink back, with all the Restylane in them. The woman has managed to mummify herself while still alive--not even Evita Peron managed to do that. She had to wait to pop off before doctors could turn her into a creepy mummy.God, Cher is my hero. Altogether now, "If I could turn back tiiiiiime...."