VIVA HAS A BIRTHDAY; HILARITY ENSUES




Anyone who knows me knows that I shun my birthday like the Bubonic Plague. For one, wacky shit always happens around my birthday--people seem to die on me during this time of the year, terrorist attacks happen, the whole nine yards. In short, my birthday sucks. I have this twisted idea that if I IGNORE my birthday, it's like it never happened and thus, I "forget" to adjust my age when people ask how old I am. It's so convenient. It's so delusional. I love delusion. I wish they would make delusion in pill form and bottle it. Oh wait, they do! It's called Vicodin. Ohhhh I love Vicodin. I hoard them like a squirrel hoards acorns. But anyhow....

How old am I, you ask? REALLY FUCKING OLD. Old enough that not only are my bones turning to dust (see calcium pills above), but other parts of me are dusty as well--like my as-yet unused uterus. My uterus is like the "Handi-Stitch" contraption I bought in the "As Seen On TV" store in the mall and promptly put in my closet once I got home: Chances are, I will never use the thing, but I like to know that it's there and the batteries in it still work, regardless. I never thought I would be old enough to come to the "Do or Die" point when it comes to my reproductive organs, but I am approaching the Double Black Diamond area of Mount Fertility, and let me tell you, the trail down doesn't look pretty. Which is why I prefer to hang out in the Chalet and drink spiked hot chocolate instead.

Enough about dusty uteruses and failing fertility. Let's get to gifts. Every year I compile a list of things I want for my birthday. Some staples remain (money, my youth), but if you're looking for the perfect gift for me, here are some pointers

1. Endoscopic brow lift, restylane injections in lips, labial folds (on my face, you pervs), and brow lines, botox, laser peel, by whoever did Demi Moore's work. I want it all. I want to be buffed to a high sheen, even if this means I will never raise my eyebrows again. Eyebrow-raising is overrated anyway.

2. One month stay at fat farm to regain the ass I had at 26 (which actually came about because I lived on ephedra, black coffee, green apples, and booze for 5 months--ah, youth).

3. Literary agent who gets me some killer book deal that gets me rich enough to freeze my eggs--hell, to even freeze my whole damn uterus until I am ready to use it.

4. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake's new albums (even the geezers like to get their groove on).

5. Subscriptions to every trash magazine out there, so I don't have to read them in the grocery store (Viva is cheap as hell and won't buy them).

6. Cheese fries. (Give me the fries before the fat farm--once I am there, they can just give me one of those colonic irrigations and flush the cheese fries right back out of me).

7. Weekend in NYC where I can get drunk with all of my friends and we can convince ourselves, after 7 or 8 martinis, that we are still young and vibrant, and the world is our oyster. AND we can buy knock-offs on Canal Street. I love knock-offs!

8. Footage of Jessica Simpson shooting her next music video in Alaska, wherein she is mauled by a huge brown bear and torn limb from limb while her father Joe screams in horror. I would watch this every day. In slow motion.

Enough birthday talk, I'm going to get back to work, but not before adding some booze to my morning coffee, even if it is only 9 a.m. The Birthday Girl can do whatever the hell she wants, dammit!!!

"TWIST YOUR BACK AND NEVER GET OUT OF BED AGAIN!!!!!"





While perusing today's trash, Viva reader (and dear friend) Joe offered this brilliant and scathing observation:

"Kate Bosworth looks like Zelda from Pet Sematary"

Zelda, as horror dorks like us know, was Rachel Creed's deformed sister with the twisted back that was hidden in a back bedroom, as she was, well, sort of scary and given to choking on porridge. I could see totally see Kate choking on porridge.

You know, you never see Zelda and Kate in the same room together. They could be one and the same.... just like LaToya and Michael..... It makes a girl wonder.

I GUESS THE KID REALLY IS BRAD'S.



Here's a close-up of little baby Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, which pretty much assures us that it was Brad's sperm, and not Billy Bob Thornton's, that created her. Now, as much as Brad and Angie annoy the crap out of me, THIS is a cute baby. I mean, it was really genetically impossible for them not to have a cute baby, but still.

Actually though I have seen some pictures of Angelina Jolie as a little kid and she sort of resembles a grouper fish so the precedent for funny-looking WAS there, but Brad has been hot forever so I guess his Hot Baby genes cancelled out her Grouper Fish Baby genes, and they hit the cute jackpot with Shiloh.

IT JUST GETS MORE BIZARRE...




This is the latest in the increasingly bizarre death of Anna Nicole Smith's son Daniel. Apparently Anna had to be drugged up from all the grief she experienced, and now has mamory loss about Daniel's death. I am going to sound horrible, but something just seems "off" about this to me. I mean, I totally buy that she was grief-stricken, and I also totally buy that she wanted drugs, but this written statement about "memory loss" coming on the heels of the death being labeled "suspicious" is just.... weird. I hope, hope, hope to God that nothing fishy is going on. As much as this story is horrible now, it could be a whole lot worse. We should have some answers when the toxicology reports are released, and find out more about this "other person" who was in the room with Daniel when he died.

Very, very sad.

From People

Lawyer: Anna Nicole Had to Be Sedated

Anna Nicole Smith's Bahamian attorney, Michael Scott, says Smith had to be sedated after the death Sunday of her 20-year-old son Daniel.

"Anna Nicole was so distraught at the loss of Daniel that she refused to leave his side, and it was necessary to sedate her in order to check her out of the hospital," Scott read from a prepared statement Wednesday, the Associated Press reports.

"The devastation and grief over Daniel's sudden death, coupled with the sedation, has been so extreme that Anna Nicole experienced memory loss of the event," he said.

Police said Wednesday that a third person was in the hospital room when Daniel died, although they did not believe that person acted criminally. Scott identified the third person as Smith's lawyer and confidant, Howard K. Stern. He said Smith and Stern kept trying to revive Daniel after he had been declared dead by staff at Nassau's Doctors Hospital.

He added that because Smith suffered memory loss, it "was necessary for Howard to tell Anna again that Daniel had passed away."

Smith is now in seclusion in the Bahamas with her friends and family, "as you would expect (of) any parent who has sustained this kind of loss."

Scott also called media reports that Daniel had antidepressants of other drugs in his system "sheer speculation. It's irresponsible speculation, may I point out."

Reginald Ferguson, assistant commissioner of the Royal Bahamas Police Force, told the AP that no drug paraphernalia or traces of illegal drugs were found on Daniel, in the hospital room or near the room, and that police believe he'd gone directly to Doctors Hospital after arriving in the Bahamas.

On Wednesday, an official in the Bahamas labeled Daniel's death "suspicious" and said a formal inquiry was set to begin Oct. 23.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY GIVE HER A CHEESE SANDWICH!





Furthering my sneaking suspicion that Orlando Bloom is gaygaygay as can be, here are some pics of Kate Bosworth which show that underneath her baggy black dress, she has the body of a malnourished 10-year-old Thai boy. The only way Orlando could have "dated" Kate this long was either (a) they had a contractual agreement that he never see her naked, or (b) he was straight when he STARTED dating her, but turned gay in revulsion to her spindly form. Either way, Orlando has better sense than to stick his penis anywhere near her, for fear of it getting bitten off and eaten, for protein. That girl is HUNGRY.

TWINS ARE THE NEW "MIXED-RACE BABY!"






Today, the world has welcomed the HOTTEST TWINS EVER! My dear friend and her husband are now Mom and Dad to their snazzy new progeny, Frankie and Ava. Viva is super-thrilled to be a wacky aunt yet again, and has FINALLY found the clip she was looking for from "Ab Fab" to commemorate this momentous occasion--"The Mixed Race Baby"--where Eddy realizes that her soon-to-be grandchild will be the trendiest thing going! The mixed-race baby was the "must-have accessory of the season, it's the CHANEL of babies!"--until Heidi Klum and Seal had to go and ruin it for everyone with Unfortunate Baby Henry. Ah well!!!

Viva declares TWINS the new "Chanel" of babies, and wishes these new ones long, healthy, and happy lives! YAY!!!!

VIVA LA TWINS!

...AND DELIVER US FROM CRACK PIPES, AMEN.




Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord. Whitney Houston finally files for divorce, after Bobby done blew through all her money on hookers and crack. Time has not been kind to Whitney. Bitch is looking OLD. But maybe now, she'll get herself straight, glue in those dentures, pin on that wig, and sing the way we all remembered she could. Lord knows she needs the money.


From CNN


Whitney Houston files for divorce

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from her husband Bobby Brown, her publicist told The Associated Press on Wednesday.
Publicist Nancy Seltzer declined to reveal where or when Houston filed the divorce papers, and said the singer had no statement to make.
"I can just confirm that she has filed for divorce," Seltzer said.
Houston and Brown, who married in 1992, have had a sometimes tumultuous marriage, and rumors of their breakup have surfaced often over the years.
The couple have one child, 13-year-old daughter, Bobbi Kristina.

REMIND ME TO BE AN ASIAN WOMAN IN MY NEXT LIFE





I've never really had any great desire to be Asian, save for the fact that I would likely be a lot thinner, smarter, and would hopefully have some sort of ability to tan. But being an Asian woman has its downside too--plenty of these poor dears have to put up with the boatloads of paunchy balding White men who have that "Little China Girl" fantasy thing going on. That has to be a major buzzkill, and would make me very cranky. I actually had a friend, back in the day, who would only exclusively date Asian women because they were "nicer" to him. As it turns out, every one of these delicate lotus flowers ended up dumping his sorry ass. He never got the hint: White, Black, Asian, it doesn't matter--a woman is eventually going to dump you if you live with your mother and don't have a job.

As for Bergen County, NJ, I've lived there and, although it is lovely, I have no idea how living in this area could INCREASE your life expectancy. If the soaring home prices (think $500K for hovels) and taxes don't kill you, the traffic will. And don't even get me started about the Guidos. There are too many damn people in Bergen County, but maybe overcrowding increases the immune system because a report released yesterday says that Asian women who live in Bergen County, NJ have the highest life expectancy. Who knew? Let's hit the Garden State Plaza, grab some sushi, and go out to Joey's in Clifton afterwards!

From Yahoo News

Where you live linked to life expectancy

By LAURAN NEERGAARD, AP Medical Writer
Mon Sep 11, 6:18 PM ET
WASHINGTON - Where you live, combined with race and income, plays a huge role in the nation's health disparities, differences so stark that a report issued Monday contends it's as if there are eight separate Americas instead of one.

Asian-American women living in Bergen County, N.J., lead the nation in longevity, typically reaching their 91st birthdays. Worst off are American Indian men in swaths of South Dakota, who die around age 58 — three decades sooner.Millions of the worst-off Americans have life expectancies typical of developing countries, concluded Dr. Christopher Murray of the Harvard School of Public Health.Asian-American women can expect to live 13 years longer than low-income black women in the rural South, for example. That's like comparing women in wealthy Japan to those in poverty-ridden Nicaragua.Compare those longest-living women to inner-city black men, and the life-expectancy gap is 21 years. That's similar to the life-expectancy gap between Iceland and Uzbekistan.Health disparities are widely considered an issue of minorities and the poor being unable to find or afford good medical care. Murray's county-by-county comparison of life expectancy shows the problem is far more complex, and that geography plays a crucial role."Although we share in the U.S. a reasonably common culture ... there's still a lot of variation in how people live their lives," explained Murray, who reported initial results of his government-funded study in the online science journal PLoS Medicine.Consider: The longest-living whites weren't the relatively wealthy, which Murray calls "Middle America." They're edged out by low-income residents of the rural Northern Plains states, where the men tend to reach age 76 and the women 82.Yet low-income whites in Appalachia and the Mississippi Valley die four years sooner than their Northern neighbors.He cites American Indians as another example. Those who don't live on or near reservations in the West have life expectancies similar to whites'."If it's your family involved, these are not small differences in lifespan," Murray said. "Yet that sense of alarm isn't there in the public.""If I were living in parts of the country with those sorts of life expectancies, I would want ... to be asking my local officials or state officials or my congressman, 'Why is this?'"This more precise measure of health disparities will allow federal officials to better target efforts to battle inequalities, said Dr. Wayne Giles of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which helped fund Murray's work.The CDC has some county-targeted programs — like one that has cut in half diabetes-caused amputations among black men in Charleston, S.C., since 1999, largely by encouraging physical activity — and the new study argues for more, he said."It's not just telling people to be active or not to smoke," Giles said. "We need to create the environment which assists people in achieving a healthy lifestyle."The study also highlights that the complicated tapestry of local and cultural customs may be more important than income in driving health disparities, said Richard Suzman of the National Institute on Aging, which co-funded the research."It's not just low income," Suzman said. "It's what people eat, it's how they behave, or simply what's available in supermarkets."Murray analyzed mortality data between 1982 and 2001 by county, race, gender and income. He found some distinct groupings that he named the "eight Americas:"

_Asian-Americans, average per capita income of $21,566, have a life expectancy of 84.9 years. _Northland low-income rural whites, $17,758, 79 years. _Middle America (mostly white), $24,640, 77.9 years. _Low income whites in Appalachia, Mississippi Valley, $16,390, 75 years. _Western American Indians, $10,029, 72.7 years. _Black Middle America, $15,412, 72.9 years. _Southern low-income rural blacks, $10,463, 71.2 years. _High-risk urban blacks, $14,800, 71.1 years.

Longevity disparities were most pronounced in young and middle-aged adults. A 15-year-old urban black man was 3.8 times as likely to die before the age of 60 as an Asian-American, for example. That's key, Murray said, because this age group is left out of many government health programs that focus largely on children and the elderly. Moreover, the longevity gaps have stayed about the same for 20 years despite increasing national efforts to eliminate obvious racial and ethnic health disparities, he found. Murray was surprised to find that lack of health insurance explained only a small portion of those gaps. Instead, differences in alcohol and tobacco use, blood pressure, cholesterol and obesity seemed to drive death rates. Most important, he said, will be pinpointing geographically defined factors — such as shared ancestry, dietary customs, local industry, what regions are more or less prone to physical activity — that in turn influence those health risks. For example, scientists have long thought that the Asian longevity advantage would disappear once immigrant families adopted higher-fat Western diets. Murray's study is the first to closely examine second-generation Asian-Americans, and found their advantage persists.

THE NUTS LEADING THE NUTS

is being saved by

Sometimes a story makes life so easy for me. I really don't even have to come up with anything snarky to say. Read on about How Stephen Baldwin wants to have a big "Come to Jesus" with Tom Cruise. You can't make this shit up.

From MSNBC

Praying for Tom Cruise
Stephen Baldwin says he is praying for Tom Cruise’s soul.

“On the Hollywood list of people I pray for often, Tom Cruise is probably No. 1,” the youngest of the Baldwin brothers told Radar Online. “I’d love to break bread with him and pray with him, and I’d love for the Holy Spirit of God to reveal the truth to him.”

Baldwin also says that Cruise is a “very different guy” from the person he was when they worked together on “Born on the Fourth of July.”

“That regular Joe quality seems to have been lost,” Says Baldwin. “When you buy enough of your own hype, then it’s not who you are anymore.”

The born-again Baldwin has written a book about spirituality, “The Unusual Suspect: My Calling to the New Hardcore Movement of Faith,” but when asked by Radar Online to name the Ten Commandments after much fumbling came up with only six. He was totally stumped when asked to name the seven deadly sins.

THE HOLY FAMILY EMERGES



Here's the first picture of the Jolie-Pitt clan en masse. I think it is pretty funny how these two had no problem trotting out poor Maddox and Zahara like show ponies when they were infants, but when it came to their BIOLOGICAL child, well, Shiloh was too good for such wanton displays. Nice to see that Brad and Angie are finally treating their three children like equals on this nice day out together.

Oh who are we kidding, you know Brad and Angelina totally love Shiloh way more than those other two. Once that kid arrived, Maddox and Zahara were probably relegated to sleeping on straw mats in the basement. Angelina will say that this is to "keep them in touch with their culture." Suuuuuuuure.

MORE BUMMER NEWS...





Looks like Anna Nicole Smith's son Daniel's death was not a natural one, which totally sucks. Doctors are mum, but are hinting towards an "overdose of antidepressants" which caused this kid's demise. Can you blame poor Danny? How many years of Nicole and Howard and Kimmy and Sugar Pie and that horrible Bobby Trendy could any human being take? I'd be depressed too, dammit!

Toxicology reports will be released on Friday. Daniel has be described as a straight "A" student, quiet, shy, and nice. This really is a shame.


From The New York Post

BOY BLUNDER: DOCS EYE RX OD IN ANNA SON'S DEATH
By DAVID K. LI

September 13, 2006 -- The only son of model Anna Nicole Smith did not die "a natural death" in the Bahamas, but wasn't a victim of foul play, a top Bahamian official said yesterday.
Pathologists are still running tests on the body of Daniel Smith, 20, who died Sunday in the maternity wards of a Nassau hospital where he was visiting his mom, officials said. Anna Nicole Smith had given birth to a baby girl three days earlier.
The Nassau Guardian newspaper reported that investigators found antidepressants in Smith's body, and were zeroing in on an overdose as a possible cause of death.
Magistrate and Coroner Linda Virgill declined to confirm that report, but told The Post, "His death was not a natural death. It means you can rule out external forces [foul play], but he just didn't go to sleep and not wake up."
Virgill said she knows what likely killed Smith, but wants to confirm it with tissue exams before making a public announcement.
"We do know the cause of the death, but we will not release it, pending some more toxicology results," Virgill said.
Pathologists expected to keep Daniel Smith's body until at least Thursday. Anna Nicole plans to send her son's remains to California for a funeral, according to a mortuary in the Bahamas.
The outspoken model traveled to Doctors Hospital in the Bahamas to give birth, so she could dodge paparazzi, her representatives said.
The TrimSpa-hawking, formerly supersized sexpot gained fame as Playboy's 1993 Playmate of the Year. She married an 89-year-old, wheelchair-bound oil tycoon 14 months before his death, touching off a years-long probate battle that went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Her 6-pound, 9-ounce girl was born on Thursday, and Daniel Smith arrived in the Bahamas on Saturday to greet his new baby sister. The name of the father, a photographer, hasn't been made public.
During his visit on Sunday, Daniel Smith began to vomit and cough up blood before passing out, according to the Guardian. Doctors performed CPR for 22 minutes but could not revive him.
"It is very important that we wait for the pathologist's report. We believe that will answer all the questions," said Reginald Ferguson, assistant commissioner of the Royal Bahamian Police Force.
A spokeswoman for Anna Nicole and her diet product, TrimSpa, said the company has yanked all TV ads this week that were going to celebrate the model's second trip to motherhood.
"What we've had to do is replace the creative," said the spokeswoman, Robin Bonnema. "At this point, we were contractually obligated [to run ads]. The air time was purchased well in advance."

POLL TIME!!!

Which baby is most likely to grow up and blow away half of their graduating high school class with an AK-47?
	Suri Cruise (or whoever Tom has hired to play her as a teenager)
	Sean Preston Federline (if he's not in jail)
	Screwed New Baby Federline (if he survives his first year)
	Totally Screwed New Baby Smith (if Anna Nicole doesn't try and snort her)
	Kingston Rossdale (like this kid isn't going to be a total queen)
	Scary Baby Henry (if they let him out of the bell tower)

THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T MAKE ME HAPPY, BUT DO ANYWAY

Kate Hudson is young, really pretty, a movie star and a gazillionaire (even though she will have to give Jesus half of her money, most likely), and for all these reasons, I get a visceral thrill out of seeing Kate carrying around some extra luggage in the midsection. That's not very nice of me, now is it? I mean, picking on a woman who obviously is just showing her Badge of Motherhood. If she were any normal woman, I would defend her right to pooch out with her bad self. This extra luggage is really not Kate's fault--the poor thing turned into Two Ton Tilly while pregnant with Ryder Russell and gained 60 pounds, then had to drop the weight in about 4.4 seconds to be ready to film The Skeleton Key a few months after giving birth. As young and as lithe as she was, no body can take that kind of abuse, which has resulted in the above poochfest.

I mean, the woman has a six-pack otherwise--or a 5-pack with a pooch on the end, depending on how you want to spin it. But she wears her Badge of Motherhood well, and I still would take her body, even with corn niblets for boobs and the above-mentioned pooch over my fat ass any day.

Still, I am sort of happy to see that this 20something isn't perfect. Oh, the glow I get from basking in pretty people's imperfections. YAY!

JUST WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS....

Another Federline. Reports are (albeit from the National Enquirer, so take it with a grain of salt) in that Britney has popped out a baby boy, a younger brother to Sean Preston Federline. And Kory Federline. And Kaleb Federline. The Maury Povich Show has taught us that stupid people love to breed indiscriminantly, and the Federlines are the Poster Children for Family Planning.

From The National Enquirer

BRITNEY GIVES BIRTH: IT'S A BOY!Pop princess Britney Spears gave birth to a 6 pound, 11 ounce baby boy just before 2 a.m., September 12th at a Los Angeles hospital, insiders told The ENQUIRER in an exclusive."Kevin took Britney to the hospital in the evening hours of Sept. 11 to prepare for the Cesarean birth," an insider said. Only her mother Lynn, and her sister Jamie Lynn were present at the birth. None of Kevin's family was there."Kevin sent a text message over his cell phone to all the Federline family members to let them know," the source said.Britney wanted to have her second child on September 14, the first birthday of Sean Preston but Kevin put his foot down, the source said. He didn't want the kids to have the same birthday.Published on: 09/12/2006

TOM HANKS BEAT HIS FIRST WIFE!



Well, no he didn't, but I thought the headline would be more catchy if I said he did. It's all about the drama! Anyhow, even though he wasn't bitch-slapping anyone, court papers were unearthed recently, which paint Mr. Hanks as a meanie who sabotaged his ex-wife's career and "verbally abused her." Tom, of course, shot back that all of this was about moneymoneymoney, so who knows what really went down? It's not like Tom's first wife has any comment on this--she died in 2002 of bone cancer. Thrown over for a big-toothed "looker" like Rita Wilson, then biting it because of bone cancer. That's gotta suck.

From The New York Post

Tom Hanks is seen as one of Hollywood's nice guys - but the Oscar winner's first wife, the mother of his kids, strongly disagreed with that perception.
In newly unearthed court papers published in the upcoming bio "The Tom Hanks Enigma," by David Gardner, actress Susan Dillingham charges that Hanks harassed her and attempted to kill her career.

"My husband has repeatedly verbally abused and humiliated me during the past 90 days in my home. This caused me to suffer great emotional distress," Dillingham wrote an L.A. court in asking for a restraining order against Hanks.

Dillingham, whose stage name was Samantha Lewes, died from bone cancer in 2002. During their messy divorce, which began in 1985 and dragged on for three years, the actress said Hanks tried to force her into depositions as she took the lead roles in a series of plays. "[It's] designed to harass and upset me at a time when I should be focusing all of my energies on my job," she wrote in one legal missive.

Hanks shot back in his own legal filing, alleging that Dillingham was delaying a divorce trial "merely to harass me and try to squeeze an unfair settlement out of me."

The couple - college sweethearts who wed after their son, Colin, was born in 1977 - began to have problems when Hanks' career took off in hits like "Splash" and Dillingham's stalled. They also had a daughter, Elizabeth, in 1982.

"Tom was spending less and less time at home . . . [and] with two children to care for and a husband who was away for long stretches . . . it was difficult [for her] to get work," Gardner writes. A year after the divorce, Hanks wed actress Rita Wilson.

Gardner also reveals that Hanks' kid brother, Jim, played a Forrest Gump-type character in a little-known soft-core sex flick two years before Tom created the role that won him an Oscar. In "Buford's Beach Bunnies," Jim invented the "now-famous jerky run associated with Forrest Gump" and, like Gump, showed a shy politeness toward women by calling them "ma'am," the author says.

VICTORIA BECKHAM IN "THE TWILIGHT ZONE"

IS

Anybody else seeing the resemblance between Posh and her
Eye of the Beholder castmates?


You would think that, with all of her money, she'd pay someone to slice off that pig snout. Or at least whittle it down. I may be fat, but this bitch is ugly and I can lose weight.

Daft, daft girl.

WORLD'S UGLIEST BABY TURNS 1 TODAY




Lock up your daughters or, uh, your livestock. Henry Gunther Ademola Dashtu Samuel turns a year old today, while the world wonders how a supermodel and a rock star could create a child that could one day hold the title role in The Hunchback of Notre Dame--without any make-up, no less. Not one to leave scary enough alone, Heidi and Seal are in the midst of brewing their next "creation." Let's hope it's not a girl. Yikes.....

From
Celebrity Baby Blog

Happy birthday Henry. You are now 1 year old!

Name: Henry Gunther Ademola Dashtu Samuel

Birthday: 12th September 2005

Famous for: Being the second child and first biological child of supermodel Heidi Klum and her singer husband, Seal.

Name meaning: Henry's father Seal's real name is Sealhenry. Gunther is after Heidi's father and Ademola is a name from Seal's family. Dashtu is a name Seal came up with, meaning "-2" to illustrate the concept of another child, as explained by Heidi on Conan O'Brien.

Siblings: Henry has an older half-biological sister, Leni. Heidi considers Seal Leni's father.

What they said:

How has life changed for Klum since becoming a mother twice over?: "Two kids' car seats, more diapers and, as any new parents will tell you, less sleep."

Eight weeks after Henry was born, Heidi walked the catwalk for Victoria Secret, saying that "if you like what you do, you can juggle everything."

Even though Heidi is a business woman and supermodel, she says that her "favorite (role) is being a mom and wife."

RUDY HUXTABLE IS A COKE WHORE

TO

Should we be surprised? I bet all of this started back when Bill Cosby would make little Keisha some "Jesus Juice" to drink before he invited her into his trailer to "rehearse."

God I am going to hell. Anyhow, here's the whole story.

From Bossip

Bossip has exclusively learned that Keisha Knight Pulliam formerly of the Cosby Show (Rudy) has a cocaine habit that goes back years.

Multiple sources tell Bossip that Keisha ran in an elite circle of Morehouse and Spelman students in Atlanta who dabbled in cocaine while in college. The source who is a member of this circle says he witnessed Keisha do a line of coke at a party and that one of their friends from Florida dropped out of college and fell on hard times due to this cocaine culture within this elite group of primarily wealthy students.

“Keisha still does coke and it is widely known by her friends, it’s not a secret” says a source.

Bossip has contacted members of this circle of Morehouse and Spelman students and Keisha’s cocaine habit is said to be beyond “dabbling”. Sources tell Bossip that Keisha came to Spelman College during her freshman year "round and plumpy" and not only used cocaine for the high, but to lose weight as well. “Cocaine was the drug of choice to lose weight for the elite group of girls at Spelman” says another source to Bossip.

Sources say Keisha still does coke but her habit is “managed and covered up pretty well.” It seems no child star from the Different Strokes and Cosby Show days made it squeaky clean from the child star syndrome.

THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT TRIMSPA CAN'T FIX




We can all say what we want about trainwreck Anna Nicole Smith, but I feel genuinely bad for this woman, after the near-unbelievable shit that went down in her life over the weekend. First, she gives birth to a healthy, presumably drug-free 6.9 ounce baby girl on September 7, in the Bahamas (why the Bahamas, I wonder? Is she trying to be like Angelina Jolie or something???). So this is good news. Then her 20-year old son Daniel flies down to see her and the new baby. He gets into the Bahamas, goes directly to the hospital, hangs with Mom and the new baby, and falls asleep in a chair next to his mother's bed. Later, Mom tries to wake him up and can't. Doctors can't either. The word right now is "massive heart attack." This is bad.

I always rooted for Daniel whenever I saw him on the "Anna Nicole Show," as his mom slurred her words, or kissed her late husband's urn, or ate fried chicken while having her nails done. He seemed like a nice, quiet kid, which amazed me given how outer-limits his mother was. Whatever the cause of death, 20 is too damn young to die. I just hope that Anna manages to keep it together for the sake of her newborn, and the only drugs she'll ingest are those damm Trimspa pills.

Poor kid. RIP Daniel.

From MSNBC

NASSAU, Bahamas - The 20-year-old son of Anna Nicole Smith died while visiting his mother in the hospital where the reality TV star and former Playboy playmate had given birth last week, a Bahamas police official said Monday.

Daniel Wayne Smith died Sunday in his mother’s room at Doctors’ Hospital in Nassau, Reginald Ferguson, assistant commissioner of the Royal Bahamian Police Force, said in an interview with The Associated Press. He said an autopsy was under way.

Smith arrived Saturday night in the Bahamas and apparently went directly to the hospital where he spent the night, Ferguson said.

“It would appear from our report that the mother had gotten up, saw him in the chair and he appeared to be sound asleep,” he said. “She tried to wake him up, he was unresponsive, and she sounded the alarm.”

Medical personnel arrived and pronounced him dead at the scene, Ferguson said.

Anna Nicole Smith, 38, gave birth to a healthy 6-pound, 9-ounce girl at the hospital Thursday, her Web site said.

“Anna Nicole is absolutely devastated by the loss of her son. He was her pride and joy and an amazing human being,” a statement on the site said. It said that drugs or alcohol were not believed to be a factor.

Her son had traveled to the Caribbean country “to share in the joy of his baby sister,” the statement said. “Please do not make any press inquiries at this time so that Anna Nicole can grieve in peace.”

Daniel Smith was the product of Smith’s 1985 marriage to Billy Smith. The couple, who met while working together at Jim’s Krispy Fried Chicken in Mexia, Texas, divorced in 1987.

The son had small roles in her movies “Skyscraper” and “To the Limit.”

Robin Bonnema, a spokeswoman for Trimspa, the diet products company that has been endorsed by Smith, said she did not know the name of the baby girl’s father.

Smith married Texas oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II in 1994, when she was 26 and he was 89. He died the following year.

She then feuded with Marshall’s son, Pierce Marshall, over her entitlement to the tycoon’s estate before he died in June at the age of 67.

In the long-running dispute, Smith had won a $474 million judgment, which was later cut to about $89 million and eventually reduced to zero. In May, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Smith could continue to pursue the fortune in federal courts in California despite a Texas state court ruling that Marshall’s youngest son was the sole heir.

The love that once was born cannot die
For it has become part of us, of our life,
Woven into the very texture of our being.
Each of us would wish to leave some part of ourselves,
So here and now we bear witness to the one we knew in life,
Who now in death bequeaths a subtle part, precious and beloved,
Which will be with us in truth and beauty,
In dignity and courage and love
To the end of our days.

--Algernon Black