I am besieged with work (which I should enjoy while I have it), so posts have been short. But, I promised you a hot mulled wine recipe and reasons why I love Clerks and Clerks II, and you shall have both (in abridged format).
First, the wine:
Magically Delicious Hot Mulled Wine (courtesy of Mary Tee, friend of Viva)
You will need:
1 bottle Burgundy wine (not the huge bottles, the normal sized ones--you can go super-cheap on the wine too, since you are mulling it anyway--my choice was a bottle of Gallo--$4.99! Whoo hoo!)
1 bottle of White Zinfandel (you remember the wine of your youth, right? I drank more of this crap than I care to remember, and am surprised there is still a market for it, but there is. I went with a bottle of Sutter Home White Zin, which was on sale for $5.99)
Mulling spices--you can buy these right now at your local supermarkets (since it is the holidays and all) so go and STOCK UP big time. I bought a generic bag of mulling spices for $1.99)
1 cup brown sugar
1 package of cheesecloth
1 crock pot
1. Come home, turn on crockpot to low or high (depending on how much time you have). Open bottles of wine; pour into crockpot--let wine warm up a bit before adding brown sugar and mulling spices, which should be wrapped in cheesecloth (my mulling spices instructed me to put in 3 tablespoons of mulling spices for two bottles of wine, so I did).
2. Wait impatiently while everything, uh, mulls. I had my crockpot set to high, because I have no patience and in 2-3 hours, the wine was ready and AWESOME if I do say so myself. Wait as long as you can, but if you dive in early, don't hate yourself. It happens.
3. Add a cinnamon stick if you want it to look pretty (I didn't)
4. Rent cheesy funny movies and laugh indiscriminantly.
The best part about mulled wine is that if you don't drink all of it in one night, you can reheat it the next day, with the same mulling spices. More bang for your buck! It also makes a festive (and cheap) holiday party drink, and it will get you where you want (or, in my case, need) to go. YAY MULLED WINE!
Now, for Clerks and Clerks II
I am beginning to think that, although I am very much a woman, when it comes to movies, I have penis-like tastes in humor. Ferrell, Sandler, Stiller, Wilson, Vaughn, Favreau, Smith, Cohen? Love them all. Love all their sidekicks too. I have no idea why. I know I should be much more enthralled by movies like "The Notebook" or "The Bridges of Madison County," but since my life plays out more along the lines of Ron Burgundy than Francesca Johnson (at least I hope it does), I'd rather stay sexy, than chase around Clint Eastwood in a pick up truck. Have you seen that man's varicose veins? But I digress.
Anyhow, why I love Kevin Smith movies. Because they are so gross, but loveable. Just like Jay and Silent Bob. Disgusting, but strangely cool. I actually have a hard time picking my favorite Kevin Smith movie--Chasing Amy was good, but I have a special place in my heart for Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back--am I the only female who thinks that "Boo Boo Kitty Fuck" is a genuine term of affection? Might be. I loved Clerks II for three reasons: Donkey Show, Pillow Pants, A** to Mouth. All completely offensive, but yet will make you cackle like a hyena. Also Trevor Fehrman, the guy who plays Elias, killed me, with his whole "God made man, Man made Transformers" speech. I loved him. Also not to be missed, Jay's and Silent Bob's reenactment of "Silence of the Lambs." It honestly does not get any better. Especially with hot mulled wine!
So make some wine, rent some flicks, and have yourself a merry little Gross Out Fest. Consider it my Christmas present to you.
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