PEOPLE WHO ANNOY THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME, EDITION 13: MARIAH CAREY





Sigh. Yes, Mimi, you can sing.
You have an amazing voice, and what a comeback, yadda yadda.

But bitch you are 36 years old! Nobody needs to see your junk in the trunk, no matter how much you might think otherwise. Really. You are not 18. Release the delusions within. Even Paris Hilton knew to step away from the Ho Clothes (though not the Ho) by the tender age of 25.


In short, you are old enough to know better than to step on stage in get-ups that scream for Nutrisystem. Put some clothes on already.

I think you need Tommy Mottola to come over and smack that big ass back of yours back into a pair of pants that both cover and fit you properly, with a shirt that keeps the old gals in check and not flopping willy nilly in a sequin bra.

And enough with the goddamned butterflies. No, I don't see any in these pictures, but I know they are there somewhere. You've been warned.